Well, it's that time of year again. Specifically, it's suddenly okay to use an entire stick of butter for anything, when during the other three seasons such a thing would be unthinkable. My favorite use for butter is pie crust, and I have a favorite pie crust recipe.
In my family, only the grandmother makes pie. She is Pie Empress, Pie Matriarch, Bringer Of All Things Pie, and final word on pie-related matters. My father learned to make pie by watching her, but could not practice while at home because GOD FORBID a MAN make pie in Her Kitchen. As a result, Pie Making was a holy and elite art.
When I was old enough to help in the kitchen, I was taught to make pie crust. This was a mystic ritual involving a great deal of care and attention, careful rolling, patching of holes to create a perfectly round disc of dough and plenty of sharp commands to "Be careful! You'll ruin it!" Still, nobody but my granmother would dare bring a pie to Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter. (No other holidays or gatherings had pie.) Even so, there was one Thanksgiving when there were more pies than people. It was a good year. Thanks was assuredly given.
Then I went away to college. I had my own kitchen. Autumn happened. I made a pie, with a recipe from the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.
It was awful. It took hours, it was exhausting, I was terrified I would ruin it and it did, in fact, come out tough. So I stuck to pumpkin pie, where the crust doesn't much matter, for years.
Until one day I vowed I would break FREE of Pie Tyranny!
I went to the trusty old Internet. I asked Google to find me a recipe for pie crust that would taste good and be easy. And I discovered Kitchen Parade's Flaky Tender Pie Crust. A large part of the secret, she said, was to use a metric butt-ton of butter and/or shortening. The other half of the secret was to not give a damn about how it looked - just roll that sucker out every which way and slap it on your pie, nobody will care as long as it's delicious and IT WILL BE as long as you don't fuss about it. And add enough butter.
Sounds good to me. I tried it.
It was amazing.
I tried it a couple more times, just to see. It was amazing then, too. Now I have a new pie crust recipe, my dirty little secret because it uses almost twice as much butter and four times as much sugar as the family recipe.
Recently, a family tragedy tore us apart. My faction, to which I belonged by default since I wasn't personally involved in the disagreement (other than to occasionally comment on how crass it was to squabble over a dead man's meager will), was facing the smallest Christmas in my memory. That's myself, my husband, my dad, his wife, her two kids, my uncle John, his wife, and their two kids. And no Grandma.
No pies.
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Pearl, my dad's wife, rose to the occasion marvelously. She was the hostess, and created pies for us and a special gluten-free pie for my dad - he had been reduced to eating the fillings out of Grandma's pies after he developed a gluten intolerance (that's no way to live). Considering Pearl had only been in America for, I think, six years at that point, having grown up in the sadly pieless Philippines, she did a great job and we were all delighted with her pumpkin and cherry pies.
I brought an apple pie.
I was terrified that Grandma or Tia would forgive us and come to Christmas anyway, which was really not in the Christmas spirit and did not do either of them justice because they've always been kind to me. But I was afraid I'd hurt their feelings by daring to bring my non-standard pie. Not only was the crust different, but I have a favorite apple and spice blend that was also a bit of a deviation. AND, I made the filling with Splenda, not sugar.
There weren't any leftovers.
I won't try to reproduce the crust recipe here. You really should go to Kitchen Parade and read it there. The instructions are wonderfully precise and easy to follow, and you can't go wrong with them. But I will tell you my opinion on the filling.
6 apples. The variety of apples makes a huge, huge difference. Always use more than one kind of apple; they are more than the sum of their parts. And always use half Cortland apples. If you can't get Cortlands, try Braeburn. The other half can be any kind, but I prefer old-fashioned, full-flavored varieties that are often overlooked because they aren't as juicy or sweet or crisp as new ones. But this is a pie! They don't have to be sweet or crisp, they only have to be flavorful.
3/4 cup Splenda, a little more if you use very sour apples
3 tbsp cornstarch
Spices:
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp cloves
1/8 tsp nutmeg
1 tbsp lemon juice
Peel and slice the apples.
Mix the Splenda, cornstarch, and spices in a bowl, then sprinkle over the apples. Toss to coat.
Add the lemon juice and toss to coat.
Ta-da!
Another thing I like to do: I make mini-pies, using custard cups, with only a top crust. They bake for 40 minutes at 375 and are perfect for a single serving. They can be frozen raw and baked whenever you want a fresh pie, without the temptation of a whole pie sitting in the fridge.
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