Rumbledethumps (Potato Pie)

Every nation in Europe, in fact every tiny geographical region, has its own "leftovers" dish, usually involving potatoes to glue the leftovers together. This one is particularly hearty and makes both a satisfying dinner and a fantastic leftover lunch. You can hold the slices in your hand to eat them, and they don't go bad for quite a while at room temperature, so they are good for bringing places. This is a variant of a Scottish peasant recipe called Rumbledethumps (wikipedia link). What differentiates it from, for example, colcannon or bubble-and-squeak is the addition of a cheese topping followed by baking in a plate.

Ingredients:

4 Yukon gold potatoes, with skins
1 bunch scallions, chopped
1 big box or bag of baby arugula, or baby spinach if you prefer
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp smart balance or butter
1 cup shredded cheddar
1/2 cup shredded gouda (or additional 1/2 cup cheddar)
1/3 cup shredded parmesan
3 eggs
Salt and pepper to taste (I use none, but the traditional recipe calls for lots, so it's up to you)

Chop and steam the potatoes, or bake them in tinfoil, until soft. Mash.

Saute the scallions and garlic in the butter until they begin to soften, then add the arugula and saute until wilted. Transer to a cutting board and chop (it's easier to chop them after cooking than before).

Heat oven to 350.

Sprinkle half the cheddar into the bottom of a well-greased pie plate. Combine remaining cheddar and all other ingredients (except parmesan) in a bowl and mix. Pour into pie plate and top with parmesan.

Bake for 20-30 minutes or until set but not puffy.

You can eat this fresh but honestly I like the leftovers better!

NOTE: You can replace the cheese with fake cheese quite easily for the lactose-intolerant.

Very Best Pie Crust, Very Favorite Apple Pie

Well, it's that time of year again. Specifically, it's suddenly okay to use an entire stick of butter for anything, when during the other three seasons such a thing would be unthinkable. My favorite use for butter is pie crust, and I have a favorite pie crust recipe.

In my family, only the grandmother makes pie. She is Pie Empress, Pie Matriarch, Bringer Of All Things Pie, and final word on pie-related matters. My father learned to make pie by watching her, but could not practice while at home because GOD FORBID a MAN make pie in Her Kitchen. As a result, Pie Making was a holy and elite art.

When I was old enough to help in the kitchen, I was taught to make pie crust. This was a mystic ritual involving a great deal of care and attention, careful rolling, patching of holes to create a perfectly round disc of dough and plenty of sharp commands to "Be careful! You'll ruin it!" Still, nobody but my granmother would dare bring a pie to Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter. (No other holidays or gatherings had pie.) Even so, there was one Thanksgiving when there were more pies than people. It was a good year. Thanks was assuredly given.

Then I went away to college. I had my own kitchen. Autumn happened. I made a pie, with a recipe from the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.

It was awful. It took hours, it was exhausting, I was terrified I would ruin it and it did, in fact, come out tough. So I stuck to pumpkin pie, where the crust doesn't much matter, for years.

Until one day I vowed I would break FREE of Pie Tyranny!

I went to the trusty old Internet. I asked Google to find me a recipe for pie crust that would taste good and be easy. And I discovered Kitchen Parade's Flaky Tender Pie Crust. A large part of the secret, she said, was to use a metric butt-ton of butter and/or shortening. The other half of the secret was to not give a damn about how it looked - just roll that sucker out every which way and slap it on your pie, nobody will care as long as it's delicious and IT WILL BE as long as you don't fuss about it. And add enough butter.

Sounds good to me. I tried it.

It was amazing.

I tried it a couple more times, just to see. It was amazing then, too. Now I have a new pie crust recipe, my dirty little secret because it uses almost twice as much butter and four times as much sugar as the family recipe.

Recently, a family tragedy tore us apart. My faction, to which I belonged by default since I wasn't personally involved in the disagreement (other than to occasionally comment on how crass it was to squabble over a dead man's meager will), was facing the smallest Christmas in my memory. That's myself, my husband, my dad, his wife, her two kids, my uncle John, his wife, and their two kids. And no Grandma.

No pies.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Pearl, my dad's wife, rose to the occasion marvelously. She was the hostess, and created pies for us and a special gluten-free pie for my dad - he had been reduced to eating the fillings out of Grandma's pies after he developed a gluten intolerance (that's no way to live). Considering Pearl had only been in America for, I think, six years at that point, having grown up in the sadly pieless Philippines, she did a great job and we were all delighted with her pumpkin and cherry pies.

I brought an apple pie.

I was terrified that Grandma or Tia would forgive us and come to Christmas anyway, which was really not in the Christmas spirit and did not do either of them justice because they've always been kind to me. But I was afraid I'd hurt their feelings by daring to bring my non-standard pie. Not only was the crust different, but I have a favorite apple and spice blend that was also a bit of a deviation. AND, I made the filling with Splenda, not sugar.

There weren't any leftovers.

I won't try to reproduce the crust recipe here. You really should go to Kitchen Parade and read it there. The instructions are wonderfully precise and easy to follow, and you can't go wrong with them. But I will tell you my opinion on the filling.

6 apples. The variety of apples makes a huge, huge difference. Always use more than one kind of apple; they are more than the sum of their parts. And always use half Cortland apples. If you can't get Cortlands, try Braeburn. The other half can be any kind, but I prefer old-fashioned, full-flavored varieties that are often overlooked because they aren't as juicy or sweet or crisp as new ones. But this is a pie! They don't have to be sweet or crisp, they only have to be flavorful.

3/4 cup Splenda, a little more if you use very sour apples

3 tbsp cornstarch

Spices:
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp cloves
1/8 tsp nutmeg

1 tbsp lemon juice

Peel and slice the apples.

Mix the Splenda, cornstarch, and spices in a bowl, then sprinkle over the apples. Toss to coat.

Add the lemon juice and toss to coat.

Ta-da!

Another thing I like to do: I make mini-pies, using custard cups, with only a top crust. They bake for 40 minutes at 375 and are perfect for a single serving. They can be frozen raw and baked whenever you want a fresh pie, without the temptation of a whole pie sitting in the fridge.

Chicken Pot Pie, better than store-bought

I have been on a quest for chicken pot pie for as long as I've been cooking, and it's always elusive. Until now. A big part of the secret is the little white onions, so be sure not to substitute them!

Filling:

1 cup frozen peas
4 carrots or about enough to make 3/4 cup when chopped
1 cup little white boiling onions, about 6 - golf-ball-sized ones are okay - cut in half, no need to peel
1/2 tsp chopped fresh thyme
1/4 tsp chopped fresh sage
1 cup milk
1/4 cup flour
1 tsp chicken bouillon (enough to make 1 cup of broth)
Ground pepper to taste
Breast meat from 1 rotisserie chicken, chopped

Topping:

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cups cornstarch (that combo means the health of the whole wheat plus the lightness of the cornstarch)
1 stick butter
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cream or tartar
1/2 tsp baking powder
2/3 cup milk

Prep:

Oven to 450. Place 2 cups of water in a small pot to boil. Drop in the onions.

Make the topping first. Combine the dry ingredients and then cut in the butter with a pastry cutter or two butter knives, whichever you have, until it's crumbles with a few bits the size of peas (it's all about peas tonight, folks). Then add the milk, stir just until a dough forms. Turn out onto a floured surface and knead 10 times.

Roll out into the right shape to fit your casserole or pie plate that you plan to use. Turn the dish upside-down on top of it and trim it to fit - you want it pretty exact. Then put the crust on a cookie sheet, and put the cookie sheet in the oven to bake. Set the timer for 14 minutes.

By now the water is boiling, so put the peas in while you chop the carrots - try to get the pieces not much bigger than the peas. After four minutes, scoop the peas and onions out with a slotted spoon and drop in the carrots. Put the peas into the casserole dish.

While the carrots cook (set a timer for 8 minutes), peel and chop the onions. They don't need to be chopped very small. The reason you cook them first is because otherwise the peels are annoying to remove. Also chop the chicken and put it in the casserole dish.

Put the chopped onions into a skillet with the milk, bouillon, and flour. Whisk the flour until smooth and turn on the heat. Whisk constantly while it warms up.

By now the crust is probably ready to check and the carrots are probably ready, too. If the crust is golden, remove it and set it aside; otherwise, give it another 2 minutes. Put the carrots into the casserole dish, and add 2/3 cup of the cooking water (which is now a tasty broth) to the milk mixture in the skillet.

When the milk mixture thickens and bubbles, remove it from the heat and pour it into the casserole dish. Add the herbs. By now, all the filling ingredients should be in the casserole dish. Just mix them together.

Gently remove the crust from the baking sheet and place on top of the pie.

You're done!

Here's the "why" for some of the weird things I did in this recipe:

Why the annoying little onions? No idea, but their flavor is necessary. Yellow or large white onions just don't cut it. Sorry! Boiling them first makes it easier, and they don't sting your eyes either.

Why bake the crust separately? Maybe this is just me, but I can't ever keep the filling from bubbling over the crust and making it soggy if I bake the crust on top of the pie. Also, this way shaves a good 15 minutes off the prep time.

Why THIS crust and not a pie crust? It's healthier this way. Less butter, but still homey. It's a biscuit recipe. You could use Bisquick or even refrigerated biscuit dough if you like.

Why bouillon and not broth? Because this way you can use milk as some of the liquid, lending creaminess and richness to the gravy without all the added fat that would come from the butter and/or cream one would normally have to use to get that same effect.

Why all the micro-managing? I don't need you to tell me how to chop my own dam carrots! Because if you do it just like I say, you can have homemade chicken pot pie on the table in half an hour. That's a pretty impressive achievement. But by all means, feel free to prepare it in whatever order you prefer.

Why rotisserie chicken? Because it is delicious.

Like I said, this is the result of a lot of trial and error. To my taste it is a damned near perfect (pardon my French) combination of authentic and delicious homestyle flavor together with modern healthful cooking. The only problem is the butter. You could use vegetable shortening, but you'd have to add more salt. You can also cut the biscuit recipe in half and have a thinner crust.